There are many of us that cling to friendships because we believe that a true friendship is forever.? From the time we’re little we tell our friends and ourselves that we’ll be “friends forever.”? Really though, we are setting ourselves up for disappointment and possibly heartache.? Let’s face it, forever is hard to come by.? What’s even harder to come by is the type of friendship that you actually WANT to hold on to forever.

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I used to throw the word friend around without much thought.? There were several people I would describe as friend, but honestly they weren?t much of one to me.? It made me start to evaluate these ?friends? that I had.? When it came down to it I really had a lot of friendly acquaintances, but very few friends. I even had some that were not so friendly and it made me wonder why in the world I even associated with them.

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Recognizing who were merely acquaintances has been a truly positive experience for me.? I let go of the importance that I had put on?these?people and took the label of friend off of them.? This made it much easier to see them as what they really are which is just people that I know.? Just because I no longer view them as a friend doesn?t mean that I now view them as an enemy.? I?m still friendly, but I don?t go out of my way for them. ?If they call me or I run into them I am polite, but I tend to keep it brief.?

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Even more positive was realizing the people that were a poison in my life and getting rid of them.? The few toxic friends I had, well?I just dropped them completely.? Sound harsh??? Not really when it boils down to my well being and happiness.? Negative relationships can literally be bad for your health affecting your blood pressure and contributing to other conditions.? They aren’t worth that to me.?

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Friendships are not cast in stone.? They change?like the?people involved in them change.??What has to be decided?is whether or not the change is for the best.? I think sometimes we forget that being friends with someone is a voluntary situation.??It took time for me to really get it through my head that I am not required to keep someone in my life that doesn’t deserve to be there.??

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Since we made the decision to pull our boys out of public school at the semester to start homeschooling, I think that my husband and I have been asked dozens of times why we were doing it. No matter how many times I get asked, I still panic just a little when I have to answer. How much is too much to say? Are they going to get offended because their kid is in public school? Do they really want to know or are they just being polite? Most of the time I don’t think they really want to know the truth of why we’re doing it. I think they want to know if some kind of terrible thing happened at public school that made us pull our kids out. They are looking for gossip or dirt to spread around.

I usually sensor my answer very carefully depending on who is doing the asking. I’ve decided though that may not be the best thing to do. What if the person asking is thinking of homeschooling their kid? Maybe they are being vague because they don’t want to feel any pressure in case they don’t do it. In the past I always just answered that it’s what is best for our family and we really?wanted the flexibility. While both of those are extremely true, they really don’t get down to the heart of the matter.?

I wanted to homeschool from the get go. Before my oldest even started preschool, I wanted to do it. Unfortunately, I let other people get in my way and also let myself get in my way. By listening to those other people and not trusting my instincts, my oldest went off to public school.?A few years later his younger brother followed. I hated it. I knew it was a mistake, but always let those other voices creep in my head. People telling me that I can’t protect them forever, that they need to be in the real world, they have to make friends, they need to learn how to deal with negative people and situations, etc, etc, etc.? I listened to all of them with the nagging feeling in my heart and question running through my mind of what is the big rush.

Well, my kids certainly learned a lot in public school.? They learned about having their shoes peed on in the bathroom, their clothes torn on the playground, large rocks thrown at their faces hitting them in the eye, how to scarf down their lunch in 15 minutes, oral sex in the bathroom, “humping” in the tunnels at recess, the rude words and names they learned about are endless including all forms of sh*t and f*ck.? It’s amazing what kids are learning at our government schools and my kids learned most of these valuable lessons by first grade.? These are certainly lessons they would never have learned at home.

I have really beat myself up over the fact that I sent my boys off to school and didn’t follow my heart from the very beginning.? I have amazing kids and they don’t deserve some of the terrible things they had to experience.? Is it my fault….absolutely it is.? I should have had the courage to not care what anyone else thought and stood up for what was right for my family.? Even if it was going against dear friends and other family members.? I haven’t got my time machine completed yet so I can’t go back and change it.??I just have to take from it what I can and?continue to move forward.??

“School days, I believe, are the unhappiest in the whole span of human existence. They are full of dull, unintelligible tasks, new and unpleasant ordinances, and brutal violations of common sense and common decency.” ~ H.L. Mencken

This is an incident that happened to my best friend Jamie and her daughter.? It’s scary and could happen to anyone.? It is very important to Jamie for as many people as possible to read this and learn from her experience.??So here is?their story. Please read it and share with as many people as possible.

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This is something that happened to Audrey and I on Monday. I want as many people as possible to hear this story so that the worst doesn’t happen to someone else.

I was at work Monday when I received a phone call at 4:30, it was Audrey’s school. They were calling to tell me that Audrey was in after-school, OK that’s where she is suppose to be. Then the lady asked me if I had called and told the school that she needed to ride the bus. I said no, she will never be a bus rider. I didn’t think much about it until I got to her school. When I walked in to get her I was told that the principal was on her way down to talk to me. When I heard what had happened I was horrified.

Someone had called the school and told them that they were concerned because their daughter was not on the bus. When asked the child’s name, they?gave Audrey’s name. The lady at school that answered the phone sees me everyday and didn’t recognize the voice, so she asked the name of the person on the phone and was given my name. The school then told this person that Audrey had science club after school and the person on the phone said oh yeah?I forgot, well can you put her on the bus cause I’m at home. The lady from the school asked several more times who the child was and who was on the phone, always getting the same answer. They then put my child on the bus.

When the bus stopped in front of our house Audrey told the driver that her mom wasn’t home, so the driver made a few more stops and then came by again. Audrey once again told her that her mom wasn’t here and so the driver took her back to the school. Now if my child had gotten off of that bus anyone could have picked her up. I am so glad that she is so smart. I start to tear up just thinking about what could have happened to her.

The only good that came of this is that the school has now changed their policy. Changes to a child’s schedule can not be changed with just a phone call. I have also been stressing the importance of caution and being aware to Audrey. We have went through every scenario I can think of, and I have told her how she should handle them. I have never been more terrified or more proud in all my life.

Please pass this along to anyone you know who has children and make sure that you know your schools policy. I don’t want to hear of the same situation with a different outcome, and to anyone who has had a child abducted, you are in my prayers.

Thank You
Jamie

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I also felt it important to mention that Audrey is only 7 years old and in the second grade.? She has been picked up from the after-school program by her mom since she was in kindergarten.? This is the third year that they have had the same routine.? She has NEVER been a bus rider.? The woman who answered the phone at the school claims she didn’t recognize the ladies voice on the other end which is why she asked her so many times her name and the child’s name.? My question, and Jamie’s questions as well, is why did this lady at the school go ahead and put Audrey on the bus.? She told Jamie when she got to the school that she just knew it wasn’t Jamie calling.? If there were suspicions, why not double check?with the parent?before you put a 7 year old in potential danger.? I feel that the school really dropped the ball with this and they should be very thankful that the outcome wasn’t what it could have been.?

?Jamie and Audrey are like family to me and this has been a very disturbing situation.? I encourage you all to what Jamie has done and go over scenarios with your kids.? Go over every kind of “what if” that you can come up with.? I don’t think you can ever give your kids too much information when it comes to their safety.? For extra safety measures for protecting your kids, refer back to my Sept 6 post about 25 ways to keep your kids safer.? It’s our job to protect them.? No one else is going to care the way you do about your kids.