Since we made the decision to pull our boys out of public school at the semester to start homeschooling, I think that my husband and I have been asked dozens of times why we were doing it. No matter how many times I get asked, I still panic just a little when I have to answer. How much is too much to say? Are they going to get offended because their kid is in public school? Do they really want to know or are they just being polite? Most of the time I don’t think they really want to know the truth of why we’re doing it. I think they want to know if some kind of terrible thing happened at public school that made us pull our kids out. They are looking for gossip or dirt to spread around.

I usually sensor my answer very carefully depending on who is doing the asking. I’ve decided though that may not be the best thing to do. What if the person asking is thinking of homeschooling their kid? Maybe they are being vague because they don’t want to feel any pressure in case they don’t do it. In the past I always just answered that it’s what is best for our family and we really?wanted the flexibility. While both of those are extremely true, they really don’t get down to the heart of the matter.?

I wanted to homeschool from the get go. Before my oldest even started preschool, I wanted to do it. Unfortunately, I let other people get in my way and also let myself get in my way. By listening to those other people and not trusting my instincts, my oldest went off to public school.?A few years later his younger brother followed. I hated it. I knew it was a mistake, but always let those other voices creep in my head. People telling me that I can’t protect them forever, that they need to be in the real world, they have to make friends, they need to learn how to deal with negative people and situations, etc, etc, etc.? I listened to all of them with the nagging feeling in my heart and question running through my mind of what is the big rush.

Well, my kids certainly learned a lot in public school.? They learned about having their shoes peed on in the bathroom, their clothes torn on the playground, large rocks thrown at their faces hitting them in the eye, how to scarf down their lunch in 15 minutes, oral sex in the bathroom, “humping” in the tunnels at recess, the rude words and names they learned about are endless including all forms of sh*t and f*ck.? It’s amazing what kids are learning at our government schools and my kids learned most of these valuable lessons by first grade.? These are certainly lessons they would never have learned at home.

I have really beat myself up over the fact that I sent my boys off to school and didn’t follow my heart from the very beginning.? I have amazing kids and they don’t deserve some of the terrible things they had to experience.? Is it my fault….absolutely it is.? I should have had the courage to not care what anyone else thought and stood up for what was right for my family.? Even if it was going against dear friends and other family members.? I haven’t got my time machine completed yet so I can’t go back and change it.??I just have to take from it what I can and?continue to move forward.??

“School days, I believe, are the unhappiest in the whole span of human existence. They are full of dull, unintelligible tasks, new and unpleasant ordinances, and brutal violations of common sense and common decency.” ~ H.L. Mencken