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There are many of us that cling to friendships because we believe that a true friendship is forever.? From the time we’re little we tell our friends and ourselves that we’ll be “friends forever.”? Really though, we are setting ourselves up for disappointment and possibly heartache.? Let’s face it, forever is hard to come by.? What’s even harder to come by is the type of friendship that you actually WANT to hold on to forever.

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I used to throw the word friend around without much thought.? There were several people I would describe as friend, but honestly they weren?t much of one to me.? It made me start to evaluate these ?friends? that I had.? When it came down to it I really had a lot of friendly acquaintances, but very few friends. I even had some that were not so friendly and it made me wonder why in the world I even associated with them.

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Recognizing who were merely acquaintances has been a truly positive experience for me.? I let go of the importance that I had put on?these?people and took the label of friend off of them.? This made it much easier to see them as what they really are which is just people that I know.? Just because I no longer view them as a friend doesn?t mean that I now view them as an enemy.? I?m still friendly, but I don?t go out of my way for them. ?If they call me or I run into them I am polite, but I tend to keep it brief.?

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Even more positive was realizing the people that were a poison in my life and getting rid of them.? The few toxic friends I had, well?I just dropped them completely.? Sound harsh??? Not really when it boils down to my well being and happiness.? Negative relationships can literally be bad for your health affecting your blood pressure and contributing to other conditions.? They aren’t worth that to me.?

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Friendships are not cast in stone.? They change?like the?people involved in them change.??What has to be decided?is whether or not the change is for the best.? I think sometimes we forget that being friends with someone is a voluntary situation.??It took time for me to really get it through my head that I am not required to keep someone in my life that doesn’t deserve to be there.??

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I am very blessed to have just celebrated my wedding anniversary.? Eleven years and going stronger than ever.? I am fortunate to be married to my very best friend.? I love each year when our anniversary roles around and it causes us to look back on the past.? We don’t dwell on it, but recognize everything that we’ve went through to get where we are today.? I believe that with us the best is yet to come.? Neither of us are perfect and we have had our difficult times.? Through those difficult times a new knowledge and understanding starts to appear.? We learn and we grow from each new situation.? We have a great deal of respect for each other and to me that is just as important as love.

I think that love is actually easier to find than respect.? You can find many people that are in love with each other.? They say it all the time so it must be true.? To me, the epitome of love is respect.? I find it hard to come across?couples who truly respect one another.? Usually the respect is one sided in the relationship.? I have many acquaintances where I see or hear about that one sided respect often.? Do you think there is mutual respect if cheating is involved?? What about lying?? How about if one partner is controlling of the other? Telling them where they can go, who they can see, what they can wear, and even how much money can be spent.? To me, none of those things show even the smallest amount of respect.?

I find it fascinating when talking with people about doing something with girlfriends, whether it be going away with friends overnight or just a movie, and someone will say “Will your husband let you do that?” I can imagine I have a look on my face somewhere between shock and disgust because that’s usually what I feel.? Now don’t get me wrong, I discuss plans with my husband just like he discusses his plans with me.? That is where the respect comes in.?? We both try to always put our self in the others position and look at things from all angles.? It just makes me pity those who have someone in there life that they have to ask permission from. Who really wants to live in a home run like a dictatorship?? Not me.?

Now I am not saying that if you don’t get every little thing you want that you should break up with or divorce your betrothed.? Relationships take work and most of the time they are a work in progress.? What I am saying is love and respect yourself.? If you have those things going on for you then chances are you will not let someone treat you any other way.? We are the ones in control of how we are treated.? For those of you who don’t have love and respect for yourself, ask someone who cares about you and your well being.? I’m sure they will tell you the truth about your relationship if they haven’t already.?